Just great...

So I have taken upon the momentous task of paying attention while I am driving. I know, I know, you're probably saying to yourself, "Oh my God, you can not possibly be serious?!?!" or "HE WILL KILL US ALL!!!!" or (and this is my personal favorite) "Driving whats that?".

Well before I get to today's story, which is a common occurrence, I will explain what driving is, driving in Tennessee that is. Driving in Tennessee is not like your normal run of the mill driving you find in New York City, Chicago, LA, San Francisco, or even Florida (ZOMG *GASP*). Driving in Tennessee is a very strenuous ordeal involving: gratuitous amounts of adrenaline, an SUV/Truck that can double as a Main Battle Tank when needed, a complete and utter lack of the safety and well being of your passengers, and last but not least the state mandated heavy assault weapons platform (AKA 125mm smooth-bore main gun).

Oh yes, one very important detail to go over before I get onto today's story. The Tennessee Driver or the "Dumb arse.", "stupid f-word", "crap for brain moron in the lane next to me won't stay in his lane.", or "the stuck up b-word in 11th grade with a ferrari that is talking on her cell phone with a purse sized dog I could eat as a snack sitting next to her."; however, we will simply refer to the Tennessee Driver as the TD. The TD, is about 5'11" and wieghs anywhere between 190lbs to 340lbs. They can be seen driving all sorts of vehicles from the motorcycles that think they own the road, to cheap foreign sub-compacts that double as a sports car, to the good ol' American Made Piece of shi-er I mean SUVs, and trucks. All of the TDs of these various types of cars also think they own the road. Now I have '08 Mitsubishi Lancer that has, and yes I'm keeping count, smacked into my grandmother's car, my house twice (DAMN YOU WOMAN!), some VW bug in Alabama, and a gold F-150 at McDonald's. Oh yes, back to my point, I have an '08 Mitsubishi Lancer so I know I own the road considering the only other Lancer I've seen in my town was in a junkyard...poor poor '08...trashed in a riot left to die by the car crusher....BUT! not before I cannabalize you for parts! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Anywho, onto today's story. I was in line for the drive through at Mickie Dee's. In front on my was a gold F-150 infront of her was a white Taurus. Well I'm sitting there minding my own business when all of a sudden the chick in front of me puts it in reverse and slams her honking trailer hitch into the grill of my car. Then, and heres the not so surprising kicker, she drives off leaving a massive rubber streak where she was. So in the 10 seconds the idiot takes to say "Bye Y'all!" I take down her license plate number and go inside. I walk into the store and everyone starts, "Why did you hit that old lady?" the police are called, they check the tapes which clearly show the lady backing into me and then running off. So the cop takes the license plate number down and calls it in. It comes back as having never existed and I'm given a ticket for following too close yet the driver in front of her and the driver behing me all where singing the same tune I was. The lady had dilerbertly hit me. So outnumbered three to one the cop calls for back-up, two police officers arrive in a McDonald's that is already over crowded.

Meanwhile, I see the Golden truck sitting at a GREEN LIGHT. So I point to it and say thats the one. The cops just laughed, which pissed me off greatly. The light turns Red, the lady guns it and blows by a speed trap which catches the license plate as the same one as the one I had written down, the Dispatcher calls it in. Now three of my town's finest look like complete idiots and start taking me and the other two drivers seriously and finally look at the tape which shows her hitting me.The put out an APB on the Gold F-150. Still no word on wether or not she'll be found.